LOVE AND ROCKETS or ENJOY THE SILENCE

Hell, how many of you out there actually remember either group? ROFL! Ok, ok... I was a big 'Depeche Mode' fan over 'Love and Rockets' but I will admit to listening to the latter, HEH! Mind you the Ex was a bigger 'MODE' fan than me (he even was a 'batcaver'; for those who have no clue, 'batcavers' were predecessors to Goths). We still are fans (as both of us have the newest CD).

The latest chapter of LOVE IS BLIND explores those two concepts. LOVE AND ROCKETS (read the double entendre there people) and whether or not you'll ENJOY THE SILENCE (being quiet or hidden with regards to your feelings). As you know, I've mentioned Yaoi Manga a bit recently. Yaoi is big on 'confessions' within the characters. Example is the one I'm reading now called 'LOVERS FLAT' in which the best friends 'confess' their love for the other. Poor Naoimichi has a harder time understanding the situation with his best friend, Kei, than Natsu does with Kuono.

I can here the Ex now... "It's Japanese porn!" TJay: "Shut up! It is not Japanese porn. This is Japanese porn (as I pull out another book and flip open the pages)." As many of the writers are fond of saying, "No one can tell you who to fall in love with..." I believe that wholeheartedly.

Poor Justin is trying desperately to keep from coming apart regarding his desire for Ethan and it's the same on the other side of the coin. The problem is who will say it first. Confessions, confessions...

I'm trying to keep up with things and write a different chapter a week for each story. It all depends on where the characters are that day or if some piece of music leads me. Only thing is: I write better away from home, ROFL! Yes, I do my best writing under the noise and clatter of my friends wine bar. I finished 8 pages the other night there in a little under 2 hours (including a glass of wine and dinner while doing so). I'm lucky. My friends that own the place are the ones that clear areas for me to write; either at the bar or in the back in a bench seat. Yeah, we are close as well.

I've had to curtail my purchase of any new Yaoi books this month. Money is a bit tight and I think that the thirty three (yes, 33) that I have can suffice for the moment. SHUT UP! SNORT!

Well, enjoy the latest chapter (will be up tonight or so).

TJay

NEXT CHAPTER OF TOMORROW

I'm sure that many of you will be happy to hear this but the latest chapter of TOMORROW is complete (Chapter 29). It should be up tonight on one of the sites and both soon. Which one? Read the top of the page of the blog. Enough said.

Love... God Dammit! I'm a sucker for romance. I can't help it. Probably because I miss it so much myself.

I wanted to get this chapter done not only for me but for the characters. I owe them this much. They've been keeping me busy in my head and still are at the moment. That doesn't mean a new chapter will be out the following week from the 'boys' but they are getting to where they want to be.

I hope you enjoy it.

TJay

I KNOW, I KNOW..."ABOUT DAMN TIME!"

Yeah, I haven't bloody posted in a while or said what's going on. Well, here's the post.

Personally, things have been slightly busy with re-election campaign for my friend. As many of you know, I'm the Campaign Manager. It's not a lot of the 'green stuff' but it does pay my rent. But, it's not the total reason that I haven't been posting. Mostly, I've become rather of a hermit. A bit melancholy and a bit of loneliness has kept me away from many people with the exception of my closest friends. Seeing other friends with their new boyfriends or talking about them doesn't help either.

So? What have I been doing? Reading. A lot! Mostly the manga that I buy and absorbing it and making myself get away in my mind.

STORIES:

Ok, many of you know that I have completed two short stories at the moment. "The Lady Slipper" and "The 123's of your ABC's" were two stories that were inspired by of all things; a nap. LOL! Yes, a nap. I woke up each time from taking a rest and had these stories fully play in my mind. Where they came from, well, I haven't a fucking clue. However, I am proud of both and hope that people are enjoying them thoroughly.

LOVE IS BLIND

Well, I have a couple of photos that I'm going to share. I have an idea of what Justin looks like but I have two potential Ethan's. Mind you, both of them have short (very short) cropped hair as opposed to the locks that the character created for himself. You'll have to be the judge. BTW, new chapter posted. They will be meeting soon for their 'study session'. Wonder how that's going to go? Get your minds out of the gutter! LOL!

Ok, the pix:

Justin Ethan 1

Ethan 2

TOMORROW and FOUND:

Ok, Ok... I've been getting a lot of flack about TOMORROW and FOUND. They are there and in my mind as well. FOUND is in a flux at the moment as to where they characters want to see themselves and where they want to lead the story. Do they want their story to be something that discusses a full year or do they just want to settle in and let you hope for their future? I'm waiting on them.

Now, TOMORROW.... big breath... I am in the process of writing it now (about 7 pages in). There are a lot of things that I want the characters to wrap up themselves and address from within their being. They have lessons (as we all do) that they want and need to learn. I will tell you that this part of their lives will be coming to a close. I know that some people will be upset about this but I (and neither do the characters) want a drawn out situation. Will they be back? Well, there is some discussion between two of them as to that... heh!

NEW STORY!

BULL RIDER - Well, where this one came from I haven't a damn clue either. Woke up a 5AM, courtesy of my female pug, who was cold and wanted covered up. I rolled over to the side of the bed and covered her up and went back to sleep. An hour later, I wake up with the first two chapters in my head. Chapter 2 is nearing completion. It's funny that I'm writing this story and, although I have worked/lived in and on a farm, I've never done 'Bull Riding'. I will say that I watch it on occasion but it had been about 3 months since the the last time I watched PBR on 'Verses' channel, LOL. Maybe it was just a subconscious thought placed their from watching that, GRIN! Either way, the characters are going to be a lot of fun.

Hope this post finds all well... I never know if anyone is really reading the damn thing but at least I'm making some sort of attempt to keep people updated.

TJay

The Lady Slipper... A short story

You will find something different in the latest story. A short story called, "The Lady Slipper".

I have been writing and getting things around but yesterday I needed to lie down for a bit. One of those days. When I awoke an hour/half later a full, short story had played out in my dreams. Interesting enough, nothing that I have read, seen, looked at or has been brought to my attention in months would even trigger such a story.

I had to write it and so I did; between 7-10PM last night I completed the entire thing.

It hit me in many areas personally. And, probably like some sod, I wept while writing it as well. Catharsis? Hard to say, however, I still tear up even as I re-read to edit it.

It tells a story... one I hope you will get. I will not tell you the premise but I will give you the two main characters... Jaden and Cory.

Look for it in the latest updates coming this weekend.

Whilst I could push myself more at times, alas. The 'wine bar' is closed down for another week or so for the summer holidays. I always write better there while the din of small talk and glasses clinking prevade the entire place. I find solace there as opposed to where I currently reside. Yes, I use the term reside. I do not live here. It is not now, nor has it ever been my 'home'. It is a temporary place in my mind. Those who know me well and know what I deal with are well familiar with what I mean.

I am biding my time.

BTW, for those who are wondering. My 41st was a quiet affair (occurred 'Pride' weekend again this year, although I didn't attend) with two friends (one being the Ex). It seems everyone had something on their 'plate' and/or never bothered to contact me in maybe doing a large BBQ (sans gifts). C'est La Vie... I still can't believe I'm 41. Then again, recently when a 12 year old asked me how old I was I mentioned that when I was born that they Periodic Table of the Elements on held one item, Dt (Dirt).


TJay

I touch myself....

Ok, I read the following letter (not sure if real or fake) and nearly spit my morning caffeine across the keyboard from laughing hysterically.

"Oh what we do when no one is watching"

The next thing I hear in my mind is the 'Diviynls' singing.

Oh what we boys do when we think no one is looking! Especially in college! How many times have we got back to our dorm rooms and found our roommate was not back from class and yelled, "FUCK YA!" then took the situation into 'hand'. Boxes of Kleenex, TP stolen from the bathroom, old t-shirts or the stray pair of boxers to clean up the evidence before someone gets back. Mind you, we forget that the room will have an odour of 'Comet' cleaner for about a half hour after the fact. ROFL!

Then again, it's that morning or afternoon 'pull' on nature that we do in the dorm shower and then 'wash the stress' along with the evidence down the drain. Ah the memories! Especially in those communal bathrooms were the top of the shower stalls barely came to the top of your head and then you dreaded to get next to the guy who was 6 foot or taller for fear that they could peek over the top and see what you were doing. Then again, maybe like many of us who were coming to terms, you actually hoped the hottie next to you or that special crush did get a peek!

It all goes to say that we all have our needs and fantasies...

Now, I'm starting to get the hang of this Blog thing (just like building websites) so this is getting a bit easier to write.

STORIES:

As I said in the previous post, 'DEATH COMES KNOCKING's latest chapter is complete and waiting for upload but I've also completed the newest chapter for 'LOVE IS BLIND'. College days (or is it daze for our Justin) are just beginning.

More later


TJay

ME

Me...

Yep, this post is about me. I've hesitated for a long time to put a picture up of me on the blog. I always wonder who'll be 'Goggling' my name and using it against me for potential work but I've come to the decision to just say, "Fuck it!" and I'll fight it if necessary.

I can't be anyone else but me.

There is a stigmata that you bear in a way when you are a Gay Author or for that matter an author that writes gay themed literature. People automatically assume that you are some sort of pervert or that it will hurt their underlying business if they hire you (**rolling my eyes here**). Why? Because of fear. And damn-it-to-hell, I've lived through too much and come to far to live with, in or around fear. Life didn't afford me the wonderful opportunities that so many of my GLBT brethren had set before them but I deal with it.

What made me decide to finally post a pic? Hmm... Well, I received a load of pictures yesterday from one of my best friends who is also my Physician. (I have two best friends in this world: My Ex and my Doctor. And, well, fuck, now I'm tearing up, without either of them I wouldn't be here at the moment typing this damn thing). They were taken at his 'wedding'. He and his new partner (love him, plus he has the same name as my Ex so he chose well, GRIN!) said their vows about a month ago and had a professional photog there as well. She is one feisty young women (NE: methinks she's a Lesbian but I'm not stating one way or another) who wanted to take pix of me. She scoffed about my comment about "Never having a really decent pic taken." So, she made me sit in chair and take some. I used the black and white one because it looked cool.

"Life is a banquet and most 'Sons-a-bitches' are starving to death" - Auntie Mame

Life's 'banquet' is knowing that you have to take your own destiny in hand and run with it. It's like playing poker and, yeah, sometimes you get one shitty hand but hell that doesn't mean the next one is going to be any worse.

Mind you, it drives me nuts that of late that I have had quite a few bad ones dealt and been annoyed with the dealer. Put me into a bit of a funk and kept me from doing things, including writing. I just wanted to read. Read things that made me feel better inside and would take away some of that hurt. IE: "I'm reading gay love stories."

Not those cheesy 'Harlequin type'... "the wind blew through his hair..." ETGRH, URP (retching sounds of bile rising here) but recently Gay Manga. Oh yeah, as a good, close and loving friend calls it, "That cartoon stuff!?!!???" "Uh huh, yes, the gay Japanese, comic style stuff that you read from the back of the book to the front from the right to the left." BTW, it's in English for those questioning since my Japanese is severely limited and I can only read a bit of Katakana (the form of Japanese that creates words using sounds based on the Hiragana characters). And even that is really rusty.

I've been reading it voraciously of late again because it has a lot of the angst of love and fulfillment at the ending. I'm not saying every ending is perfect but you walk away feeling that there is some sort of resolution. It's been a help. Plus, they are some damn good writers as well.

For those who know and I've talked with, FYI: I'm better inside this morning. I even had a semi-spat with the Ex on his drive to work over family stuff. More of a venting of things on my end that he took the wrong way but we got through it. (HA! Didn't think I'd type this did you Hun?) Then again, he didn't sleep well either so he was a bit cranky. He is a good man and I appreciate him more than anyone else in the world.

Now, I finished editing Chapter 13 of Death and will be sending out for uploading later today. I'll be working on editing Chapter 14 plus begin writing on both 'TOMORROW' and on 'LOVE IS BLIND'. The characters of 'FOUND' have been rather quiet of late.

Lastly, I have to remember to take to heart what a very talented writer on Nifty said once in a story: "You just have to know that you deserve what the universe has to offer." I think it's one of the most profound statements I've ever read.

Boys and their toys….

What is it with boys and their toys (GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER! SNORT! Well, it does bring the obvious to mind, LOL)?

I do know every man has their own type of toy or weakness. It doesn’t matter if you are straight or gay. With my Ex it was Star Wars toys, specifically the ‘Dark Side of the Force’. His boyfriend has a weakness for Matchbox cars and cars in general. The guy’s amazing in that he can tell you everything about a certain type of vehicle. For another friend of mine (gay), it’s power tools (hmmm, maybe he’s a reincarnated lesbian?)

What are mine? Fuck if I know? I like to cook but I don’t wet my shorts over getting the new cooking product catalogues. I like to write but I don’t go looking for the newest edition of ‘Writer’s Illustrated’. I do like comics. I used to have quite a collection till I sold a shitload of them before I moved and before the comic market took a dump in the late 90’s. I just bought a mag the other day called “Boy Meets Hero”. It’s an awesome comic! If you like Gay comics then I suggest you purchase a copy.

Ok, I’m a sucker for gay romance. Probably because I’m still f’ing single. I do have a few DVD’s of gay romantic movies and such. I also like comics that are a bit more risqué than romance. “WINK, WINK.. NUDGE, NUDGE… SAY NO MORE!” Patrick Fillion and Joe Phillips come to mind.

So, if anyone actually reads this blog; what are your toys? And let’s not go the way of the rubber or vinyl ones like Wes and Taylor used last chapter, SNICKER!


Now, the stories:

Tomorrow: My feelings are that ‘Tomorrow’ will be ending for a bit with graduation from high school for Wes and Taylor. I will not be giving too much of updates on the story because I wan it more of a surprise to the readers. Will it continue? Hard to say because I don’t want the story to become long, drawn out or tedious.

Death Comes Knocking: I’m in the middle of editing Chapters 13 and 14. I hope to have them to Bret within the next week.

Found: A quickie? A romantic evening? Erotic nervousness? What will happen between our two men? Is happiness truly able to be ‘Found’?


AND NOW AN ANNOUNCEMENT

I have just completed Chapter 1 of my new story that I’ve been working on slowly for a few months now getting the bearings and the idea of what the characters want within their own selves.

I am pleased to announce the story, ‘Love Is Blind’.

Our ‘heros’:

Justin Chang and Ethan Wills

Justin is from San Francisco and Ethan is from Portland, Oregon. They are sophomores as SSU (fictional college) located in San Diego. It should be an interesting run.

TJay